Art is a difficult concept to grasp as it requires the beauty of the art relying solely on the eyes of the beholder. How much worse so when the art in question is communication?
To communicate effectively one must be willing to forego ego for the betterment of the interaction. But a wise individual somewhere once said, most people listen with the intent of replying and not to listen.
If I only hear for the sole purpose of wanting to reply then the beauty of the interaction goes into limbo. where dark forces do battle for the purpose of conquering when it should be about understanding.
I huff my chest out to peacock my feathers when I should be calm enough to acknowledge your words before peacocking myself.
Yes, my colours maybe bright and true but with interactions of more than one, I really only have half the story. My own.
So you tell me, you want to talk.
Fine, I say. Rather hoping to play FIFA than actually talk.
The first mistake, I’m already exasperated before we even speak, so naturally I’m defensive I heard the tone in your voice. The translation is already lost. Both of us are tired of this cycle.
Sometimes, it’s not even the wear and tear of a relationship taking its toll. It could be as simple as the disrespect of assumption. There is a funny quote about people that assume;
When you assume you make an ass out of u and me
The dictionary defines assume, “suppose to be the case, without proof.” Ever heard people shout?
“YOU CAN’T SAY THAT, YOU HAVE NO PROOF!”
If you have not, it’s usually accompanied by an “I’ll sue or kill you” but usually this is the extreme we hope we don’t have to find ourselves in. However, if communication barriers are not tended to like the delicate gardens they are, this usually becomes the result;
Bad communication is like a dried ground where nothing can ever be grown unless the rainfall matches the suffering
Sometimes I’m angry besides myself and I say the wrong thing, I could have been right but my handling the situation in a terrible way would make my day terrible. Sometimes it still gets me uneasy, but knowing there is a healthier way to communicate really shifts perspectives. So I now have to do something a friend of mine recommends.
I have to grow up. This can look like having that exact same conversation but without shouting, it can look also look like one of us understanding and possibly apologising. I say possibly because humans are strange creatures, we sometimes understand but to avoid “humility” we sometimes tend to walk away more angry than the first time.
But then again, I guess humility has been turned into a dirty word. Who would want to be associated with being humble?
For communication to be effective, simply avoid being absorbed in the self. Otherwise, why interact at all?
Leave a Reply